No Way Out

Posted by gideon on Jul 11th, 2011
Jul 11

Here I am, lost in space yet again.  I hate the game EVE, sometimes quite passionately, yet here I am for the third try.  It seems that some games are designed purely for game aficionados, those “in the know”.  To me at least, EVE has always seemed to be that type of game, particularly the earlier versions.  A prime example of this was my very first foray into the game, as usual, at the behest of a friend who was all hot and bothered about this “new” game.  He wanted me to join him in the game and was impatiently waiting for my arrival as my antiquated computer attempted to grind its way through loading the game.

Well, basically if you don’t have the latest in a high tech graphics card you aren’t particularly welcome in online games.  This sentiment isn’t particularly broadcast, but they have to dumb down the game for you.  If you are going to be playing an on-line game, it is assumed you have a graphics card worthy of the endeavor.  Basically, if you have to ask, you don’t have one.  So, impatient friend waiting in the wings, after much cursing and swearing and miscommunication, EVE finally loads.  It has taken hours.

Now, games always load full screen.  I tend to think that this is just an expression of their underlying egotistical belief that they are all that matters in any world, but I am told the graphics card just runs better full screen without other windows with which to contend.  I still think it is over-weening egotism, but I’ll leave that for future rants.

So, EVE is finally up and running, I have no clue as to where I am, or what to do.  It doesn’t run like other world based games.  You have to remember where you are, try to figure out how to bookmark your location so you can find it again, and how to control the damned ship ship which wants go in circles.  Although they have improved recently, the original tutorials weren’t worth a damn.  So, there you are, after about five minutes, completely frustrated, cursing your friend for wasting your time and wanting to exit the game.

G: How do I get out?

T: What do you mean?

G: How do I get out? I want to leave!!

You see, there is no quit icon.  No little computer icon or interface icon that gets you to the settings page, or a way to exit the game.  There is NO WAY OUT!!

T: Hit escape.

G: What do you mean, there is no escape icon.

T: The one on your keyboard (it’s obvious)

G: #@#$% (It damned well isn’t obvious that the escape key on the keyboard is the way out.  Most programs only need that option if the program screws up.  Most programs have a quit icon and a system for shutting down)

So, I escaped.  How appropriate I thought, escape, success at last.  Then, despite the five hours it had taken to load EVE, I deleted that sucker in less than five seconds.

Better luck next time.  WoW here I come.

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